One of the first issues that needs to be addressed when a couple first embarks on a male chastity lifestyle is male orgasm denial and how long it should be for.
In order to adequately address this question, it’s wise to take a step back and determine what the man had in mind in the first place when he originally broached the subject of male chastity with his partner.
The area of male chastity can cover a lot of ground, anywhere from permanent orgasm denial to mild chastity play. Both he and she need to decide where on this wide spectrum their interests happen to lay.
From a man’s point of view, spending a week in a chastity device might be entirely too long. From the woman’s perspective, a month would be a good starting point, moving upwards from there.
Is Orgasm Denial Harmful?
Let’s get one common misconception out of the way from the get-go. A male will suffer no permanent psychological or physical damage by being denied an orgasm for a lengthy period of time. At some point, any build up in the prostrate will take care of itself by the way of an involuntary discharge.
That’s what a wet-dream is.
For couples who prefer to spice things up a bit, there are always scheduled prostrate milkings and ruined orgasms; erotic subjects of their very own more suited for another time and place.
If he has in mind just some mild chastity play, then she should be prepared for the possibility of him trying to top from the bottom along with some bitching and whining when he hasn’t been allowed to cum for three days.
This type of high maintenance and bullshit behavior on his part usually doesn’t make male chastity worth her time and effort.
On the other end of the male chastity spectrum, permanent orgasm denial probably won’t be appropriate for most couples, at least not at the beginning of his
male chastity training anyway.
In reality, the man that has requested to have his orgasms denied by his partner needs and actually wants her to exercise some firm but loving control over the situation. He will require that his limits be pushed beyond what he thinks he is capable of.
For example, if he agrees to go a week without any type of release, then she should extend that time to ten days or maybe even two weeks in a male chastity device. It’s then important that she emphatically sticks to to that predetermined time frame, with no questioning, begging, whining or recourse allowed on his part.
Her steadfast resolve will fulfill his deep-seated desire to be told ‘NO’ while at the same time will free herself of the tedious task of frequently getting him in and out of his chastity device and then having to deal with the
annoying administration of his orgasms.
The longer the male is denied, the longer he will be able to maintain the anticipation of sexually serving the female that he so secretly craves.
The longer the male is denied, the longer she can reap the emotional and physical rewards that naturally come with keeping her male chaste, all the while keeping her work-load to a bare minimum.
So to answer the question posed in the title of this article, how often should he be allowed to cum?
Initially, longer than he thinks is reasonable. Eventually he will come to
the realization that the definition of ‘reasonable’ is best left up to her.
Male orgasm denial for extended periods of time can be best achieved by requiring
him to wear a male chastity device for a time designated by the female partner.
16 thoughts on “Male Orgasm Denial – How Often is Up to Her!
Totally enjoyed reading this.i am in the process of cuckolding my husband. I am looking at a start of 1 weeks denial but may go with your suggestion and push him to a month.
Start with six months that’s what my Goddess wife did
We got into chastity in a little different way. Interesting story but too long to describe. In a nutshell, my wife discovered that she only enjoys sex with woman and started cuckolding me with a woman that became her lover. After that all forms of sex were denied to me because her lover asked her not to. I started to cheat on her so I could have sex with a woman and got caught. One week later I was locked in a CB6000 and then a custom device. I am locked in 24/7 and the only orgasms I have are a hand job every 3-4 months that is mechanical. Then it is lock up time again. The first time her lover saw me cum she gagged and ran into the bathroom to get sick. Kind of strange I thought but she has never seen a guy cum in real life and thought it was disgusting. Now my wife feels the same.
If I was not sexually submissive I would have left but they do dominate me in a way I enjoy so I stick around.
Here is our take on the matter: The decision as to how often is one that is difficult at best. We went from her very occasionally denying me (long story, but her idea), to saying “no” more often, to a month denial, then a couple of months. Then after a five-month period of denial, we made a formal schedule. Currently, my wife allows me to cum inside her only four times per year: my birthday, our anniversary, Valentine’s day, and Christmas. About once per month I am allowed to kiss and lick her feet and toes and cum on them. Oral cleanup of my “mess” is expected. No solo masturbation is allowed. No “device” is used; I am on the honor system and am very proud to say I have been faithful to our agreement for going on to three years now. Her sexual needs are met either through masturbation, me giving her oral and/or manual stimulation, or by a lover.
Unless the wife has needs that are contrary, we feel that full penetrative/ejaculatory intercourse four times per year should be sufficient for any man. Be sure to tease often and intensely. Allow him to cum through masturbation when you feel like it but only if he is very well-behaved, obedient, and is deserving of it, but never more than once every 21 days. Make at least 1/3 of his masturbatory orgasms “ruined” ones.
Once a regular routine of denial has been in place for at least one year, then it is time to step up the game for him to prove his devotion, and as a type of “rite of passage test”. Set a date that will mark the commencement of one full year of denial for him. On the appointed day, make love lavishly one last time and then commence his strict chastity. Make an agreement that after one year, you will both honestly review the experience and decide if it should be extended for another six months. At the end of six months, review an optional six months extension by mutual consent. Agree that at the end of the second six months or two extensions, that it will then be solely up to the wife whether or not to implement permanent chastity. If she decides permanent chastity is the way to go, then appoint a day to commence it. Then, as before, make love lavishly and begin the new chapter in your lives. After only the first year, they may want to discuss making male chastity a permanent arrangement. If chastity creates a good dynamic in the relationship, she may see no reason not to continue to deny him indefinitely. Just be absolutely clear on how her sexual needs will be met. He should be expected to provide for her satisfaction and will eventually learn to derive pleasure exclusively through giving her pleasure or simply knowing she is otherwise receiving pleasure through other means.
New Year’s Eve 2015 will be my last time inside my wife until 2017. 2016 will be my Year of Chastity. I do not have any preconceived notions of how it will go, nor if December 31, 2015 will be the last time inside her for the rest of my life. The longest I have gone is a bit over seven months. I am pretty sure I can, with my wife’s firm guidance, make it through the year-long rite of passage. I am looking forward to proudly completing the test. My wife and I feel that all couples who have been in an orgasm-control relationship for a while should incorporate a Year of Chastity experience into their lives.
Your post is from 2015. I am curious: how did your chastity develope?
Present I am yet on the classical way. My chastity times got expanddt more and more by my wife.
After about 10 years on and off chastity we started a year ago (middle of 2017) with “real chastity” and today I am on 4 to 10 weeks for a orgasm (mostly tending to ten).
The reason for this step has been her menopause. Her hormones messed up and had been killing her sexual interest nearly complete! This has been something She really disliked and hence felt handicaped due to my still present sexual drive.
So to say, I was forced to share her suffer.
Her sexuality slowly came back about half a year later, my chastity stayed – and as it looks at present it will be developed further on because She learned: the more strict I keep my hubby chaste, the more obedient and gentle he gets and stays. Plus She feels her female power!
Penetrative sex depends on her mood. In the last 5 years It decreased from 1-2 per week to 1 in half a year. Her sex dive did not decrease. She likes my fingers, tongue and all kind of tools.
The male orgasm is designed to reproduce. The male orgasm should be used only for that.
Long term orgasm denial is much better than short term denial and give better results. Male masturbation is not natural, and has a bad effect on men. Nocturnal emission (Wet dream) is a natural way for ejaculation.
The average time required to nocturnal emission (Wet dream) depend on the age of man.
Men aged 20 to 25 years have a wet dream after 3-4 weeks
Men aged 26 to 30 years have a wet dream after 5-6 weeks
Men aged 31 to 35 years have a wet dream after 7-8 weeks
Men aged 36 to 40 years have a wet dream after 9-10 weeks
Men aged 41 to 45 years have a wet dream after 11-12 weeks
Men aged 46 to 50 years have a wet dream after 13-14 weeks
Men aged over 50 years have a wet dream after 15-17weeks
These are average times, which can be increased by 30%.
For many men wet dream act badly, so it is better that he gets ruined orgasm just before wet dream happen. Teasing can accelerate wet dream, so last; a quarter of the time should not be tease man. Semen retention is an old Tantra / Tao technique suitable for a very long time without ejaculation, With Semen retention techniques can be ejaculation reduced to two to three a year
Great article, one of many I found when initally researching orgasm denial. When the concept of chastity/denial was initally introduced to me by my boyfriend, whilst I got the idea of it, I had no idea how long I should be denying him for. I first asked my boyfriend his thoughts, and he told me that ultimately he would want me to decide, but he thought a few days at a time was probably about right. I had no reason to disagree with this before I did my own research!
Most website I found certainly suggested longer, but many also do suggest similar to what is written here, that the duration should be beyond what “he” feels is reasonable. Indeed, even without this idea, a lot of sites were suggesting denial periods in durations of weeks, not days.
So following the advice here, I managed to get him to give me a proper offer the first time I locked him up for real, and he said he thought he could go a week, but I also still got him to agree that ultimately it was my choice. I’ll never forget his reaction when I sternly told him he would be going 2 weeks. I think it was the longest 2 weeks of his life, but more importantly, he did enjoy it, but so did I, immensely.
My recommendation for any ladies out there locking their men up for the first time is no matter what (even if he is a self confessed serial masturbator), make the first time 1 week as an absolute minimum, and like the article suggests, whatever you decide, stick to it.
Wow although that sounds tough from my perspective as someone who does come pretty much every day I think your partner is very lucky to have you. I hope you both enjoy the experience. I think women who take control of their partners orgasms are incredibly exciting and sexy!
You’re right, good nutrition is what we need!But sadly, with produce grown in higdhpestici-al and low nutrient dense soils, some of which has been genetically modified, makes it very hard.I hope to see a day in my life when the entire world is organic and we’re no longer extracting fromï»¿ it it’s valuable resources.
Orgasm denial is brand new to me, and I am trying to soak up as much information about it as I can. My boyfriend introduced this to me and it is something that we have agreed on. I appreciate your comment because it was helpful and encouraging as I learn how to take complete control of his orgasms and our relationship. This is something that he really wants and I do as well. I am taking all this in in order to organize a chastity plan for us.
3 rock hard assignments in no puiarcaltr order:1. Watch a porn vid in chastity one featuring a dom cucking a man having the cuck’s face right near the pussy and telling him to Watch and Learn how it’s done’ and how he will never have this but he can watch, serve and clean up.2. Watch a concentrate and obey pov video after being freed from chastity. Female orders the man’s attention (cam looking up to her sitting) as she orders him to alternatively look at her boobs (under a thin top) then her legs then her pantis..then her feet and back and forth and having him stroke and then STOP sometimes and finally allowing him to spunk3. Watch a freedom cums with a price’ video where the man is POV allowed to get unlocked and stroke and cum but the price is that he must clean up his mess.4. POV stroke control exercises like red light, yellow light, green light and even cum countdowns from 15 to zero.5. FAVOURITE one!!: Stroke control exercises with a metronome app from an iphone do various BPMs from slow 100 BPM to medium 130 140 BPM up to good range of say 155-165 for ejaculation .hot6. You have to squat any time you piss just like a girlie now do it for a week etc. as a form of self control.7. Keep a log of how many ejaculations per week prior to chastity to then shoot for a new reduced number of EPW (Ejaculations Per Week). 3 Rewards1. Free cock day u cum 2-3 times anytime and u clean it up too!2. stroke control free masturbation with a Fleshlight watching a video.3. dress up girlie clothing and stare in the mirror admiring the bulge in the panties. 3 Punishments1. Dress up and take photos or short vid clip for submission to mistress for possible/probable blog posting2. Squat to pee for several weeks .I own u now and this should remind you of who u are becoming3. light cbt performance or cum eating performance on cam for the mistress.Enjoy
Goddess Catherine seems to knowexactly how to train a chastity slave.
Online be a wearing a …
I am on my 4th year of something I once thought was stupid. Now my wife and I could not imagine our sex life without my chastity device and orgasm denial. We started off slow but now I do not even get very horny until at least a month as past. I am regularly denied 3-4 months a year and have gotten used to it. In fact, I often do not want to orgasm but my wife gets carried away or feels guilty about denying me longer due to my reaction to her edging.
I have tried to take a break from chastity play but in a week or two, I miss it. I miss the constant feeling of sexual arousal. It is like a force that energizes my body. Without it, I feel depressed, irritable and bored. I guess that I like stupid.
I would agree with your statement abut missing the constant feeling of sexual arousal. It’s additive. And I get the same feeling post orgasm as well. Especially depression with situations also not even related to sex ot relationships.
Thank you for an awesome article. I’ve only discovered this whole concept a few days ago and I am extremely excited to introduce this to my wife. I’ve been a daily masturbator for most of my life and I’ve decided to give control over to my wife. I’ve implemented a self imposed ban on masturbation for the last two days and I already feel better for it. I feel more affectionate towards my wife and even helped with chores today. I’ve learned a saying that are words to live by, “LADIES ORGASM, MALES DON’T (without her permission).” I’m so excited to share this with my wife later today. Thanks again for a well written article.