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HungaDunga3
 
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HungaDunga3
HungaDunga3
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Joined: 2020-06-09
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About Me

experienced as top & bottom & swinger. have worked with people abused as minors. often we relive the abuse events to arrive at a different ending, as we cannot simply forget them. the original events were more intense because we were minors then, so the new ones have to be larger to be as intense now. humiliation vs pain is a scale we fall at different points on, me towards humiliation. crossdressing for a straight sub is not like a transgender where it is becoming female; it is part of the woman's ownership of you. like much of the scene you are not supposed to like it exactly -- you like her enjoyment of the situation and your predicament (tease/denial/chastity/being used...) most of my female bottoms had orgasmic blockage due to self-esteem removals during abuse -- the theatrics were to do new self-esteem removals that were precise. The original event was frightening, not sexy. but we took it out and masturbated to it for years before becoming adult. We felt special because of it, did not even know it was "sex," fetishized its accessories. Was there pee? A shoe/boot? A girdle? Smells certainly. Insults verbal or not yes. We were groomed and then learned that that was false as the forced sex happened. That discovery was more of a shock than the sex (for me). Someone was supposedly interested in us as a person! but really was not. We were NOT interesting as a person, just as genitals and ass, how sad. Doing the sex with mouth or whatever was frightening but not as sad as that. That self-esteem loss is why we may well wish to be treated "badly" now by our partner. For gays the self-esteem loss can obviously come from different directions.

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as a bottom, "stephanie"

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