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Calgary Sissy chooses Locktober


nella_bmar
(@nella_bmar)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 3
Topic starter  

Hugs all, missing those special squeezes? I know that incel has become a dirty word, but as a sissy I understood at an early age that frustration would be permanently my point of view. Always wanting more, never succeeding in getting the girl of my dreams. Now, I was successful in getting married, for a time, and even having a couple kids, which she left me with 'cause I cheated.. and other things. But it seems to be a cyclical state of finding someone who mistakes me for being a real man, us getting together, her finding out she wants more, and leaving me for someone who makes her toes curl..

As of last 3 yrs my current gf (together for 7) has stopped enjoying sex, mostly due to stillbirths. I'm not helping, I am sure. But 2 yrs ago I decided to help things as in stop pressing her for sex, and focusing on my online fapping career as I purchased a cb6000s(s for small) and then she'd be able to dick-tate (hehe) when I could touch myself. It turned out she accepted it more as something I'd wear going out with friends. nothing she herself wanted to be part of.

Truth is, I liked that it stopped me from pushing a friends friend for some corner cuddles, and even helped me focus away from sex in some situations. More noteably, last yr I've been wearing it 3 hrs a day while I -dont fap' online so i can actually get things done, like registering and replying to accounts like this.

 

Now because she's lost practically all interests in me, I've focused my chastity and well, my sexuality in on my sissification, and if I may use the term -incel- deprecation. I know I'm not gonna be having sex with a real woman for the next few years, and am looking towards a method to move forward and become a happy incel, a productive sissy, and maybe one day, I'll find a femdom or even daddy who'd be willing to beat his/her will into me.

I've learned that I enjoy domestic dominating friends, and have done their chores, even leaving work to help them, in the desire to recieve a miniscule of acceptance, and well, to be honest, a lil action. But being left out, I've curled into my lil hole and receded from much of my social life. But that's ok. The male in me has been suffering since the first girl accepted me as a friend, and complained about how rough her boyfriend was..

If I could have accepted castration at 14, maybe my life would be better, but I am unable to take that step at 44. I have removed all my teeth, chosen to never get my hair cut again, and accept that no woman needs to feel me upsetting their insides (btw, I'm not small). I want to be noticed for the sissy I can be, and I feel I need to portray that more.

This, and the chastity, has brought me to Locktober, the fantasy of locking your male up for 31 days without chance of cumming, and possibly altering his point of view in the process.  It's day 8, and I've already failed 3 times (or is it 4?). but I've allowed mysaelf failure, as I know who I am. But I have made a calendar, some testosterone reducing ideas, and subhuman expectations.

again, my gf isn't part of this, and she's more of a room mate that doesnt pay rent, just another frustration.

I hope to come out of this month (pun intended?) a new sissy, and able to be more productive and goal oriented. but so far, my pillow has gotten the most attention.. help?

This topic was modified 3 years ago by nella_bmar

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nella_bmar
(@nella_bmar)
Active Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 3
Topic starter  

I failed 8x last Locktober. This locktober I thought I'd be better prepared. More locks, binders and research. I will avoid sexual content a bit more, but hope to keep up with my blogging. I know failure is always an option, just goes to prove why I'm not a real man. I have no support, gf left me last January. I'm pussy free 3.5 yrs now. asexual hedonist, so denial this month will be a challenge. But keeping busy will help. Idle hands and all. This last year I've noticed I'm more aware and awake if I pull one out before a heavy public job. Now this month, I wonder if crying will be more common? Wish I didn't do this alone, in calgary.. sigh.


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