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Side effects of chastity?  


Trusted Member
Joined: 10 months ago
Posts: 65
02/07/2020 2:09 am  

   Most if not all of us are here, on this site or others like it, because we want and need?  someone to share our experiences and life with chastity.   I've discovered personally, and have picked up bits and pieces of posts, that being in chastity leads to, or is a large part of a more intense desire.

   I'm talking about being controlled, being forced, bondage mild or wild, being exposed to others and/or humiliation.  Not only the control/keyholding, but the punishments.  Serving orally and anally, pegging, bodily fluids exchange.  Yeah, pee drinking or golden showers.  Cum eating, ropes and collars and gags, definately bondage of some sort...being naked and in chastity while someone stares at you and  smiling at you while you're  struggling?   (And you love it?)

   HERE'S MY BIG QUESTION....would we, and that is we in a relationship or not, single,married, mistress/master  or not, be interested in all this if we weren't into chastity?

   Is our chastity just the tease we need to want more?

   I'm single and in chastity and  a totally non sexual or even personal relationship that is about to end because I've been in chastity for years and the thought of not being  in a position to not only want but to do more, is actually depressing.  I want and I need to expand my submissive nature, I want to please someone who pleases me merely by understanding who I am and what the chastity lifestyle is about. 

   Does anyone else understand this?    Anyone else feel the need, not only to wear a padlock, but to wear it for someone else?    

J. Morris

Trusted Member
Joined: 5 months ago
Posts: 8
07/07/2020 7:49 am  

OK, you have to understand the desire for humiliation on two levels below the ontic (outside) level. 

You are not going to explain anything with a single  hey-i-found-the-answer kind of thing -- that's what science does, and it is not capable of explaining sentient beings because it says they do not existe (robert penrose: that which is real can be measured.)

So this is like wildly off to say that chastity causes the entirety of the interests we associate with the sphere of fetish behavior.  huh?  

To take just one example, people who were abused sexually or bullied heavily had "self-esteem withdrawals."  Parents and teachers do that emotionally and it can also be done sexually.  They learn that they are not good people compared to vague others.  Some go on to hurt others, others do not. 

One person like this told me that when a nice man said that he loved her it felt fake. She started telling herself that he would not say that if he knew she was a slut, etc.  She was at age five doing things you literally could not pay any prostitute on earth to do.  She was hung upside down in a custom made leather enclosure performing coprophagy for her next oldest sibling.  So she had the worst-ever abuse.  Worst on the planet.  So she needs to be told (I helped with this) that she is a slut, etc as part of her therapy in order to overcome intense orgasmic blockage.  She is patient zero.  All the people you ever meet who need humiliation are like 0.000000000001% of the situation she was in.  They and I were humiliated, but less.  The odd thing is that she said that "the sex itself was not as bad as keeping the secret."  What hurts is when your peers at school ask "what do boys have in their pants" and you want to tell them a 3 hour lecture on sex but you can't do it.  That makes you the bad guy, not the person who "made you do it."  That's why she could never ever accept someone who is vanilla saying he loves her.  Only someone who -- like me -- asked her to tie me up and sit on my face -- that was someone she would be happy to work with and ask to abuse her.  We had it in common. 

So if you have zero need to be humiliated (sounds like it) you have to learn what it is about.  Or maybe you do and you are like totally unconnected with your own pathology?  How?  Chastity does not need to be associated with humiliation but it seems to be often.  We beg to be allowed to cum and we enjoy being told no, no you don't deserve to.  The "deserve" is the key.  It means we are not good.  This self-esteem withdrawal is very different from the ones we had when we were young, when we "imprinted" on them.  There is a ton of literature on this -- look it up.  The term is "mastery."  we seek the same sort of experience with a different ending.  We may (or may not) want a closely parallel experience with escalated, more intense, elements.  Our opposite sex parent spanked us.  We were raped while held down -- that becomes bondage -- we asked someone out and she laughed at us.  Our keyholder laughs at us when we ask for an orgasm -- it is the same thing.  The early original sexual experiences may have been in many ways negative but they were ours and our first ones and the only ones we had.  You take out those early experiences, alter them, masturbate, and put them back.  You enjoy them while you masturbate -- you learn to enjoy being humiliated because you condition yourself to cum while thinking about the girl laughing at you -- she was so pretty -- you are so inadequate for her -- this elevates her to a class of perfection.  


You elevate your wife/gf keyholder to perfection by begging for release which she knows very well she should not give.  Otherwise it would not mirror the imprint experience you masturbated over -- even before you could ejaculate, at ages 5 and 6.  You just wanted to play dolls with her, maybe, but she laughed at you -- this was not clearly romantic at the start.  

So asking whether we like humiliation because we like chastity is like 1000 parsecs off the track.  We like humiliation because at age 5 we imprinted on a humiliation event.  Now at age 40 our very understanding partner (more than we understand ourselves, because men are less self aware than women are psychologically profound) -- knows precisely why we need humiliation to feel better.  The "good slave,"  "good sissy" or now you can cum after you eat her 50 times over 2 weeks -- that is the reward which produces Mastery -- you now own the thing which stole your self esteem.  You get a self-esteem deposit in the "good slave" and cuming on her feet and eating it which is so warm it is like a religious experience.  see? 





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