Nine times out of ten, or maybe 99 times out of 100, it is the man who
brings up the idea of male chastity and his fantasy of being denied.
The woman’s reaction will vary…. from complete disgust…. to obvious
disinterest…. maybe mild curiosity…. all the way to emphatic embracement.
No wonder it can be nerve wracking for a guy to broach the subject of male
chastity to his partner.
Her reaction will make or break his day!
Keep in mind that he would not have brought it up if it wasn’t important to
him, so it’s a good idea for the woman to keep her wits (if she possibly can!) and
carefully consider her initial reaction.
The smart approach is to calm down, collect her feelings and then suggest a
time for a lengthy sit-down discussion.
A short ‘on-the-spot’ superficial little chat will NOT do the subject of male
chastity proper justice!
Scheduling the discussion for later will buy her some time to not only
reflect on his desires, but allow some time to do some preliminary research
into male chastity, so she has a better idea as to what she’s dealing with.
During the sit-down discussion, it’s best to let him do most of the talking
while she encourages him to bare his deepest and darkest secrets.
Listening and asking questions will give her some valuable insights into what is
actually going on here.
Her final question to him should be….
WIIFM…. (what’s in it for ME!)
She should listen to his answer VERY carefully as it will help her out later.
Time For Some R&R
No, not rest and relaxation. If you’re a woman that chooses to embrace a male
chastity lifestyle, there will be plenty of opportunity for that later on.
R&R in this case stands for ‘research’ and ‘reflection’.
This 2nd step to living a male chastity lifestyle is all about the woman
doing her due diligence, rolling up her sexy silk sleeves, and doing some
research as to what makes her man ‘tick’.
The more she can get inside his head and find out what he really wants and
needs, the better this lifestyle will work for both them.
A little investigation into the mind of the man who craves being put into a
chastity device and denied will reveal something very important to the woman.
She needs to realize that if she doesn’t have a mean streak in her now, it
will serve her (and him) well to allow the cruel side of herself to blossom.
In order to deal with all of the bullshit that will soon be coming forth from
him, it will be mandatory for her to be (at times), tough minded, mean and yes….
…. even somewhat of a bitch.
While her research will enlighten her to all of his male chastity fantasies,
she will need to adopt a tough-minded attitude in order to effectively use those
fantasies to her benefit.
Now for the 2nd part of the R&R…. reflection.
It’s time for her to reflect on his answers to WIIFM.
He undoubtedly gave her some excellent ideas as to what she will get out of
the tedious task of training him to be locked away in male chastity.
But his ideas are just a start. What about HER deepest and darkest desires?
How will she benefit from this arrangement?
She should take some serious time to reflect on this as it will come in handy
She Makes the Rules!
Now we’re getting to the fun part…. where she gets to make up the rules.
Okay…. You’ve had your sit-down with each other.
She’s finished with her research assignment.
Now it’s time to make up the rules as to how you’re going to play the male
Although he’s got plenty of ideas of his own for ‘rules’ as to how he would like all of
this to play out, in order for a male chastity lifestyle to work seamlessly over
the long term….
…. there can really only be one rule-maker.
It’s just the best way to make this male chastity thing work.
In coming up with a set of rules, she will of course take into consideration
his male chastity fantasies that he revealed to her during their initial
She will also factor in the information she uncovered during the research phase.
The reflection time she spent on sorting out her fantasies and desires will
also play a major part in making up an appropriate set of rules.
But the first rule of male chastity and the most important is this one….
Every subsequent rule made by her is to be
followed explicitly and directly by him with Absolutely no questions asked or allowed.
If he can’t deal with this over-riding theme of Female Supremacy, FemDom, FLR,
D/s, Female Keyholder or whatever you prefer to call it, then she simply refuses to be involved
any further and expects no further mention by him of male chastity.
It’s imperative that she holds ALL of the cards for this game to work.
There can be absolutely no exceptions, wiggle room, backsliding,
second-guessing or topping from the bottom.
None of that bullshit!
This ONE rule firmly and succinctly sets the tone and direction for a fulfilling, fun
and exciting male chastity experience.
From then on, she makes as many or as few rules as she wants. She can add,
delete, change or modify any rule, anytime at her whim…. with no prior notice.
If she’s in a benevolent mood, she can even entertain suggestions from him as
to the nature of the rules.
This predominant position puts her in a place of prodigious power.
And this level of power will pay off in BIG benefits.
Time For Lockdown Mode
There are many factors you should consider when looking to buy a male chastity device.
» Type: chastity cage or belt?
» Material: plastic, leather or metal?
» Security: used with a piercing or without
» Custom made to order or off the shelf?
» Manufacturer: reliable customer support
Let’s go over these considerations, one-by-one.
If this will be your first chastity device, it’s best to stick with a cage
type. Chastity belts are very secure and look sexy but they do have their drawbacks.
They are usually custom made so will take longer to receive, plus they are on
the expensive side. A chastity belt can also be harder to hide under certain types of clothing.
As far as material, leather looks sexy but is not very secure (it can be cut
easily) and is not particularly hygienic.
Metal is definitely sexy looking and usually quite secure. But devices made
from metal are obviously heavier, harder to get used to, and pose a problem with airport security.
Plastic is the way to go when first starting out.
Most chastity cages, whether made from metal or plastic are pretty damn
secure! Although there are men who can finagle their way out of them, my
experience has been that when properly fitted, they won’t be coming off without a key.
For added security, many modern chastity devices can be used with or without a penis piercing.
Custom made chastity cages are typically of the belt variety or made from
metal. Like I mentioned above, they are usually expensive and can take quite a
while to receive. Also, initial measurements are critical to achieve a good fit.
Off the shelf chastity devices come with different sizes of rings and spacers
that will ensure a good fit. It is usually necessary to experiment with
different combinations of spacers and rings to come up with a comfortable fitting device.
As far as price goes, an off the shelf, plastic chastity cage such as the
very popular CB-6000, while not cheap, is well within the budget of most.
You can find cheaper, Chinese knock-offs on Amazon but the quality is NOT
to be trusted…. they crack and break a lot.
On the other hand, custom chastity devices can get quite expensive and are
best left for when your chastity lifestyle has been allowed to season a bit.
Male chastity is becoming more popular all the time which brings more
designers and manufactures into the arena with new and innovative products.
These manufacturers can come and go like the wind so it’s always wise to pick
a chastity device made by a company who has been around for awhile in case
you need customer support or replacement parts and accessories.
There is a reason devices like the CB-6000 are so popular.
It’s affordable, secure, comfortable and hygienic!
You can find a CB-6000,
Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as ordering a male chastity device, locking
him up and embarking on a fun and exciting male chastity lifestyle.
There is a critical process that must be carefully navigated before the mayhem can begin.
This is what you’ve been waiting for? Your male chastity device has arrived
and you cannot wait to get started.
Break Him in…. Slowly but Surely
Whoa boy (or girl). Take a deep breath, relax and read what I have to say on this matter.
Before wildly embarking on this male chastity adventure it’s necessary for an
…. a physical and emotional one. He needs to be slowly but surely, ‘broken in’.
First, take a little time and make sure you get a good fit, not too tight, not too loose, but just right.
Once that’s done, lock him up for 24 straight hours.
After a day, you’ll both have a good idea as to how things are fitting down
there. A little initial discomfort along with some minor pinching is to be expected.
No big deal, at least not for the keyholder anyway.
Any major discomfort can now be dealt with at this time. A larger ring, a
different sized spacer, shaving the genitals, applying lotion.
Now go for another 24 hours. If everything is hunky-dory (aside from the
minor chafing, pinching, etc.) then it’s time to go for 72 continuous hours
(Yes, 3 full DAYS!) in lock-down mode.
He will now be getting used to and/or moving beyond any minor discomfort.
He will soon find it more practical to sit down on the toilet and pee like a girl.
He will get used to the feeling of not being able to touch his dick.
He will begin to experience a yearning feeling deep inside his balls (as well
as his mind) that comes with sexual denial.
The next phase is to remove the chastity cage, re-shave, re-lube, re-adjust
rings and spacers and lock him back up for seven straight days!
This is the phase where any final physical adaptations will take place and
more importantly, where the psychological process begins.
This is where the fantasy begins to morph into reality.
He now will be getting what he asked for and begins the transformation from a macho
man to a compliant and devoted husband or boyfriend.
Seven continuous days of no whining, complaining or cumming marks the point when
your relationship is ready to take on a new level of meaning.
It’s now time to make a very BIG decision!
Now that he’s adapted, both physically and mentally, to being locked up for
seven straight days, he’s proven that he can ‘handle’ things.
The BIG Decision
In order to set the proper ‘tone’ of how the relationship is to eventually
evolve, a mandatory (and lengthy) lock-up and denial period will have to be
agreed upon and then strictly enforced.
This ‘conditioning phase’ is necessary so that both partners are fully
committed to the idea that male chastity is no longer just a fantasy or a mere
game, but a lifestyle decision to be taken seriously.
This ‘lock-down’ phase should be anywhere from a month (bare minimum), to a
full year. Three months seems to be the ‘sweet spot’ for most couples.
This may sound like ‘harsh’ treatment but is absolutely necessary in order to
instill the proper mindset in the male.
This lengthy stretch of total denial will also empower her to be tough-minded
during some tough times.
She will also use this time to thoroughly train him to sexually please her
without the use of his now caged-up cock.
He will become adept at transmuting his feelings of frustration and denial
into the satisfaction of providing for her needs and desires.
During this training period, it’s wise to tease him un-mercifully in
conjunction with verbal humiliation and an occasional whipping session, if she’s into that.
Nothing can approach the emotional intensity of her being licked to
orgasm-after-orgasm by a locked-up and denied male right after he’s being
worked over with a riding crop.
At the end of the ‘conditioning phase’, she will have elevated herself to a
position of complete control and power while he….
…. will have learned to happily (for the most part) take on the role of a subservient sexual slave.
At the end of this period of lock-down and denial, his input into matters will no longer be necessary.
She may ask for his thoughts, but it’s now all about her! She makes all the
rules and he simply answers, "yes Dear".
His ‘Cumming Out’ Party
He is now perfectly primed and positioned for his first release in quite some time.
It’s been soooo long since he’s experienced an orgasm. Perhaps maybe a wet
dream, but that doesn’t really count now, does it?
A firm benchmark has now been established within the relationship.
He’s proven (with her help) that he can endure a long period of sexual
denial, all the while attending to her ever escalating sexual desires.
Denying a man while you are free to experience sexual ecstasy is
an incredible turn-on and power rush for a woman.
She, on the other hand, has become capable of maintaining a disdainful
demeanor to his ‘predicament’ all the while providing him with the necessary
‘guidance’ (which can sometimes be cruel and humiliating) without flinching.
But now that he has ‘paid his penance’ and she had become sufficiently
empowered, it is time for her to decide on how his future orgasms will be ‘managed’.
The first area to consider is how often he should be allowed to cum.
Most women opt for a set time interval…. but it should never be more often than every two weeks!
Once per month is better. In my experience, once every two to three months is optimal.
Some keyholder’s choose to keep their men guessing; orgasms are allowed only at her whim, and he never knows when that might be.
That sounds quite cruel but some women get off on the look on a male’s face
when she leads him to believe that the time is near, only to change her mind at the very last minute.
This tactic is suitable for women who prefer to emotionally ‘break’ a man down
and render him
as a mere shell of his former self.
For most women, this is ‘over-the-top’ and they prefer to let their man hold onto a portion
of his self-dignity so that he can still function effectively out in the ‘real’ world.
And then there are women who prefer performance based or ‘earned’ orgasms.
An ejaculation can be conditional upon completing chores, performing tasks,
maintaining proper behavior standards, losing weight, hers-to-his orgasm ratios (100:1), chastity games, etc.
One important thing to remember; the time between orgasms can always be
extended because of ‘bad’ behavior on his part.
Once the woman has established a fair frequency for his orgasms, she must
then decide on HOW he will be achieving these rare (to him) ejaculations.
This is where things get incredibly fun but quite spicy and dicey.
We Now Know the WHEN…. What About the HOW?
Now it’s time to consider how he will be cumming. This is the fun part, especially for her.
After going through the ‘conditioning phase’ he has had plenty of time away
from regular intercourse. If she has a penchant for penetrative sex, a dildo or
a strap-on (for him) solves that issue.
She may decide that his days of fucking are over. No big deal for her
since she has the options above at her disposal.
Many women choose to deny the male the privilege of traditional intercourse as a matter of principle.
It is quite common for a woman holding the key to insist that any of his
orgasms are of the humiliating variety.
I have a friend who handcuffs her husband’s hands behind his back and then just tells him to go for it.
He inevitably winds up humping the hardwood floor in the kitchen, then meekly licks up his mess afterwards.
I’ve heard of one woman who has her man hump one of her girlfriend’s legs
while she hurls degrading insults his way.
Other women are particularly amused by, and have become masters of, the ruined orgasm.
One particularly cruel acquaintance of mine insists on performing an
emasculating prostrate milking in front of a girlfriend, boyfriend or sometimes both.
I’ve witnessed a pro-domme at a party order a man to polish a pretty girl’s high
heeled boot with his cum, followed by his tongue, while she whipped his ass from
behind with a riding crop.
My favorite? Instructing him to cum on her ass followed by a thorough tongue
clean up. Ummmm.
It can also be exciting to incorporate some sort of ‘dice’ or
‘spin-the-wheel’ type of game, leaving the matter of ‘if he gets to cum’ and the
manner in which he does it, up to pure chance.
You’re really only limited by your kinky and perverse imagination.
Now that you’ve both settled in and become comfortable with your personalized
version of a male chastity lifestyle, it’s time to reflect on an extremely important matter.
Once everything has been set-up properly within a male chastity lifestyle,
everything should now be smooth sailing.
Not So Fast
The reality of enforced male chastity typically does not measure up to the fantasy he
once had about it.
The fantasy was much more erotic than the stark reality of constant denial and
severely limited orgasms.
Now that he’s securely locked up, with no release on the horizon, second
thoughts on this course of events begin to haunt him.
But it’s a completely different story for her!
The reality of male chastity for the woman is much more powerful and
fulfilling than the initial fantasy ever was.
At first, it was about his fantasy. Now it’s all about her reality.
Now that she holds the key to his manhood and has the situation well under
control, she can’t understand why she was ever hesitant to begin this in the first place.
Sure, she has had to initially expend some major time, energy and effort with
all of the rule setting, conditioning, attention to detail, discipline and compliance issues.
To be honest, this is no small feat and is NOT for a weak willed woman!
But she will have emerged from the back-end of this process with
superior self-confidence and complete sexual liberation.
He, on the other hand, has relinquished his ability to orgasm, something so
importantly powerful that he can’t help but wonder if he has made the right choice.
He will, at some point, inevitably began to start ‘missing’ his frequent
orgasms, the ones he had become so addicted to for most of his adult life.
If she acquiesces to this inherent weakness that resides within most all
males, the lifestyle that they have expended so much effort to build, will began
to fold like a cheap lawn chair.
When the subject rears it’s ugly head, she will need to firmly put her high
heeled foot down and say NO!
There can be no going back. She is living the perfect, pampered life that she
deserves while he, for maybe the first time in his life, has found some real
peace, even though it’s of the frustrating variety.
If he continues to complain and have regrets about his situation (the one, by the way, he so
desperately lobbied for) she has several options, including but not limited to….
» institute a policy of permanent orgasm denial
» increase his chore/work load by 50%
» a severe cock caning or whipping session
» make an appointment to have his penis pierced
» discontinuance of all male chastity activities
» threaten to leave the relationship
Any unreasonable demands on his part should be firmly countered with strict
and swift consequences.
It’s really only matter of time when she will need to draw a bold line in the
sand and not put up with any questioning of her authority.
Consider this to be an honest and fair representation of possible ‘fall-out’
issues when embarking on a male chastity lifestyle.
Male Chastity is NOT For Every Couple
To successfully incorporate it within a relationship, both partners will need
to have the courage to move beyond traditional sexual and romantic roles that
are played out by most couples.
Social conditioning, as it pertains to relationships, is powerful stuff and can
lead to feelings of guilt, fear and inadequacy where none should ever exist.
Both men and women instinctively know who they are at a ‘gut’ level. Being in
tune with that inner knowledge and living your life exactly how you want,
results in true happiness and freedom.
If you’re a guy who is sick and tired of being in control all of the time,
then maybe it’s time to let go.
If you truly adore a woman and enjoy treating her like a Princess, elevating
her pleasure above yours, then go for it.
If you’re a woman who would like to see how it feels to ‘turn the tables’ and
be the one who wields the power in a relationship, why not give male chastity a try.
Freeing yourself from ALL household duties (or just the ones you dislike) while
experiencing exquisite sexual ecstasy, precisely the way you want it, when you
want it, cannot be adequately expressed in words.
A man that can provide all of that for her, and then some, will evoke emotions
that will reverberate all the way down to his inner core.
Training a male to accept his new life of being denied is a fun, frustrating
(at times), and extremely rewarding endeavor. You will need to get a chastity device
early on in the training process. You can find one right here.